You know the old refrain: “What do you get when you play a country music song backwards? You get your wife back, your dog back, and your truck back.” In real life, of course, neither the song nor your life usually gets played backwards, so you might as well pour yourself a glass of wine and settle back to ride the wretchedness out. But don’t settle for any old randomly selected wine; instead choose something that will best suit your frame of mind. Breakup wines are probably the easiest category of all when it comes to matching wine to mood. Just as some people have a list of favorite breakup songs, others might catalogue a selection of wines that suit both the music and the heartbreak.
Phil Collins is a frontrunner in the breakup song division. “How Can I Just Let You Walk Away,” for example, screams out for a glass of big, consoling wine, a Zinfandel perhaps (almost anything from Rosenblum Cellars will fit the bill). U2’s “You gave me nothing / Now it’s all I’ve got” requires a rich and complex wine to fill all that emptiness. So what are you saving that Helen Turley Marcassin for? Go ahead, pull it out of the cellar and persuade your most empathetic friend to come over and share it with you.
Bonnie Rait’s “I can’t make you love me” demands a glass of something elegant to sob into, Champagne perhaps. I’m thinking non-vintage Veuve Clicquot, unless you want to put a rosy spin on the situation, in which case, Perrier Jouet Rose, Champagne de Fleur might be a good choice.
Sometimes wallowing in misery seems deeply satisfying, but there comes a point where moving on, or out, is the best answer. There are plenty of songs and wines for all those broken-hearted folks who’ve evolved to the stage where they simply want to get past it all. How about Paul Simon’s old “Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover”: “Just slip out the back, Jack.” Come to think of it, Jack seems destined for more than his share of angst. Think of Ray Charles’ “Hit the road Jack and don’t you come back no more, no more, no more, no more.” With all he’s been through Jack, and everyone else looking for breakup solace, might require a glassful of big, hedonistic 2008 Plumpjack Merlot, a wine so brawny and muscular it almost substitutes for the comforting arms that are no longer there to wrap around their grieving bodies. Of course they might consider turning to that other Jack, Mr. Daniels–but that’s a story for another day.
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