On the rare Sunday, while sipping a steamy mug of Sumatra Monkeypod coffee, warmed for the third time in my very expensive coffee warmer (aka microwave), I pause in the back part of Parade magazine to scan the column by Marilyn vos Savant, the brainiac who seems to know a little about everything.
You know who I mean? Just about every column vos Savant, smarmy know-it-all that she is, provides answers to puzzling questions that most caffeine-hyped Sunday-morning readers don’t have a clue about.
One question that pops up often is where vos Savant is asked to find the one similarity in a group of names or words that appear (to most of us) to have nothing in common. Of course, her answer is printed upside down and at the bottom of the page, causing me to nearly spill my Sumatra Monkeypod (at $22 a pound, by the way) while sneaking a peek.
I hate puzzles like that, but always secretly hope that one time I’ll see the quick answer and let out a triumphant Homer Simpson yell! Alas, to date, the score has been vos Savant, 327, Boyd, nada. Then, I saw it; a list of names and I knew immediately the common that thread tied all six names together. Give it a try: Dirty Laundry, Woop Woop, Used Automobile Parts, Red Knott, Hey Mambo and Plungerhead.
Give up? They are all wine names! Is that crazy, or what? Whatever happened to good old names like Acme Vineyards, Chateau Frontenac and Domaine Beaune? When I first read these wine names, I thought they were rock groups, or maybe even names for a new batch of microbrews.
It’s me, I know, me and my marketing disconnect. Years ago, In San Diego, I sat at a table with a few other wine scribes while a rep from Buena Vista Winery served us a white-wine blend of Riesling and Gewurztraminer.
We were asked to taste the wine and then, from a small list of names, select the name that best described what we had tasted. I don’t remember the other choices but the name I liked least was ‘Spiceling.’ Of course, it was the name Buena Vista selected and the wine went on to gi-normous sales.
By the way, Dirty Laundry is the name of a wine from the Okanagan Valley of British Columbia. Before the change to D-L, the winery name was something respectable but a little boring for today’s market. Now, as Dirty Laundry, the wine is fast becoming a smashing success. And that’s why I didn’t go into wine marketing. But, no hard feelings. Enjoy your Used Automobile Parts, but don’t get me started on ‘critter wines.’
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